escape

windows down. heat on high. no cruise control. no restrictions. a sense of direction & a sense of adventure. all the time in the world to think. no attachments, no obligations, going where no one knows me at all. it's fresh. just me and the dirty hippie. we'll make it all right.

but tomorrow...the alarm clock will go off, and i will go to class, turn in assignments and attend meetings.

meet me somewhere tonight & lets boycott tomorrow, or at least think we have.

i'll take one orphan please

i don't have much patience with kids; there's this gap between toddlers and high schoolers that i can't stand for very long. I know - it's a pretty big gap. Maybe it's just because they're not my kids... i loved babysitting infants, because no matter if they were happy, or sick i just loved tending to them. i miss praying over them, and singing to them. once, there was this little boy, only 10 months, whom i sang to and rocked for 3 hours before he finally fell asleep. he was so sick, and felt awful. he was beside himself, not understanding the root of his pain or why such a thing even existed. I miss holding them as they sleep, giving them a sense of security for at least a moment. If i could have a professional job comforting children, i would do it. don't get me wrong, i like playing with kids, making up fun games & crafts, but what i really yearn for at the end of the day is to hold, rock, and comfort those that don't have anyone in their life to do that. i want to be the one that makes them feel safe, not alone, and as if they can just be. not struggling to survive on their own as a toddler. i want to provide peace, comfort, and rest. what i like most about infants is that from the beginning they don't want anything they don't need. it's perfect simplicity. it's only as they get older that they begin wanting and desiring things they can't have or beginning to act out in their flesh. their innocence is what draws me in the most, and it makes one capable of enduring hours of a sick child. i wish i could comfort and take care of one today. going to bed knowing there are so many children, desiring to be loved and taken care of out there makes my heart throb. i want to be with them, in their situation, to improve it. i want to be their safe-house, their stronghold tonight....

how it came to be

i have this shoddy copper teapot that i bargained from an old man on the side of the road. She cost me two dollars. i needed a teapot, and it looked like she needed me. often, i think about getting a new teapot, that whistles, with a wider base, & an insulated handle. yet i can't deny she gets the job done. i begin thinking how she could make a good decoration somewhere, to make myself feel better about getting a new one. but she was made to make tea, that's her purpose & that's all she wants to do: be used and valued, even though she isn't perfect. sometimes i think about how i'm like that teapot. living in a corporate, ulta-efficient, budget-cutting world, but all i want to do is be used for my purpose, and nothing else. if only the world valued humanity, despite our human conditions a little more....